Supplement Therapy for Bipolar Disorder
by Moss Bliss
Bookmarks:
I have been becoming more and more concerned that our doctors may not have our best interests in mind, especially regarding the "mentally ill" patient. There is a long and detailed history of doctors (as a class - not individuals) deciding that the mentally ill were beasts or less-than-human, with tortures ranging from shaving a person's head and dousing it with caustic agents to the still-practiced Electro Convulsive Therapy ("electroshock"). Nowadays it seems most common to give a patient drugs -- drugs which are dangerous, toxic, and sometimes fatal -- rather than actual therapy.
It has been shown repeatedly the past couple of centuries that these methods are NOT the only way to treat the mentally ill, nor are they effective. They are aimed at subduing the patient, not treating them. The World Health Organization did a study of schizophrenia in 10 nations (twice, because they didn't believe the results the first time), including 3 of the poorest nations, and found (both times) that the patients who did NOT continue taking medications had a high probability (60%) of a full recovery -- and those who continued taking the drugs did not recover at all, but continued to be "treated with drugs. However, modern psychiatric theory continues to hold that schizophrenia is treatable only with drugs, and is not curable.
Several leading psychiatrists have broken with the American Psychiatric Association, and state that there is NO evidence that there is any chemical or organic component to any major mental illness ("brain disorders", in the NAMI parlance), and there have been many cases in the histories of these groundbreaking (and line-breaking) doctors' practices where complete and effective treatment has involved nothing more than socializing the patients within a safe patient community. Please review the histories of (the late) Loren R. Mosher, M.D. and Peter Breggin, M.D., for more information on these treatments and the reasons not to prescribe various psychiatric drugs.
The main part of this discourse relates to Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depressive), but also extends to Unipolar Disorder (Clinical Depression without Mania), and Schizophrenia, and other related disorders. The following is a letter I wrote to Mountain Xpress, a weekly newspaper in my home town. It got published in the March 24-30 issue (the letter as published should be at that link).
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March 14, 2004
Letters
Mountain Xpress
PO Box 144
Asheville, NC 28802
I have been treated at Blue Ridge (now New Vistas) for six years now, and for Bipolar Disorder overall for the last 22 years. When I have asked Blue Ridge about alternatives to the medications they have prescribed for me, I have been told that there are none. When I presented information to my doctor in September 2003 regarding one of these alternatives, she told me that she knew nothing about it and refused to discuss it further -- my patient chart, on the other hand, was annotated with "strongly cautioned patient against use."
Now that I have been stable over four months but not using their drugs, my Physicians Assistant admitted that there was considerable evidence in favor of the use of fish oil in treating depression and bipolar disorder – but I had to tell him I was using it before he'd admit this. (For the record, there is also considerable evidence showing the effectiveness of fish oil in treating schizophrenia).
It should be pointed out that the medications they prescribe have serious, often hazardous, and sometimes fatal side effects, whereas the alternatives, such as fish oil and lithium orotate, are considered non-toxic.
I was told by my PA that the New Vistas doctors do not need to monitor me any further (unless, of course, I have a relapse and consent to taking drugs again, which he graciously predicted). He stated that the New Vistas doctors' only job is to prescribe medications and make certain the patients are taking them. In other words, they are not health care professionals, but drug pushers, in my opinion. I have friends in other areas of the country whose psychiatric doctors inform them of alternatives and continue to do follow-up care with them, so this attitude is not universally held. We should not permit this inferior level of service from our local State-authorized provider of these services. As long as this attitude continues at New Vistas, their patients are not being provided the medical care they deserve, and the doctors are not living up to their oaths as physicians.
If anyone would like more information on alternatives to these dangerous and unproven medications, they can visit the ALT-therapies4bipolar Yahoo Group.
Sincerely,
Gerald L. Bliss
(address and phone number)
OK, so that's where I've been with the local medical establishment. How about you?
Firstly, let me state that I do not recommend taking yourself off your medications and then starting the alternative therapies I am about to describe. Since these therapies are very safe, reportedly non-toxic, you can start most of these treatments before weaning yourself off the medications. (Exception: If you are taking lithium carbonate, you should not start lithium oroate prior to at least reducing your dosage.) If you are lucky enough to have a doctor who is supportive of your trying these things, let them help you set up a schedule for reducing and then eliminating the drugs. In any case, please develop a network of friends and supporters who can keep an eye on your progress and make sure you are safe.
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Peer Support
Simply put, find a support group and stick with it. I go to different support groups a total of 5 times each month. I also run the Yahoo group mentioned above for bipolar people. There is a Yahoo group called Safe Haven 2 that covers a lot of this information, although from time to time they get downright ANTI-drug. There are many other discussion groups, forums, yahoogroups, etc., and it is worth it to look for them. It is my opinion that there may be a legitimate use for some psychiatric drugs, but it is short-term only and alternatives should (I'd like to say "must") be discussed with the patient. Please click on "UPDATE" at the top of the page; even with support, it will take courage and fortitude to get yourself away from the damage that the drugs have done to you, and I talk about my recovery in the document linked there.
Another excellent resource is Recovery, Inc.. Recovery, Inc. is a self-help group with professional assistance. It was founded in 1937 by Dr. Abraham Low, before any medications had been approved for these syndromes, and they have helped many thousands of people. Some of the language they use will be new to you, and some of the situations may seem old (the examples in the book are taken from the early years of the organization), but I can testify that it works. One huge advantage is that Dr. Low referred to his "nervous patients", not "mentally ill patients"; the difference is that he believed (and proved) he could treat nervous disorders through a series of self-help meetings with other patients, rather than marginalizing them and forcing drugs on them. They might have a meeting or meetings in your area; check the website for meeting times and locations. Do yourself a favor and buy Dr. Low's book, Mental Health Through Will-Training, available for $20 ppd. at the Recovery, Inc. website or at used book sites on the web, including Half.com.
If you're REALLY mad, you might want to join an organization, such as MindFreedom Support Coalition International. MindFreedom SCI is on the bleeding edge of mental health reform, and is made up of current and former psychiatric patients who are fighting for the right to be considered first-class citizens. They also have a store with dozens of published books that describe our situation, from novels to books by psychiatrists. Another site is MadNation; they have lots of good stuff for sale and had a great start, but they seem to have been inactive since April 2002. Also check out the Alliance for Human Research Protection, a watchdog group that is doing its best to see that "medical research" is being done with truly informed consent and is unforced.
Also see this great website, Psychiatry USA.
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Rise in mental illness linked to unhealthy diets, say studies
Patients benefit by cutting intake of junk food
NHS warned of rise in 100bn bill
Felicity Lawrence
Monday January 16, 2006
The Guardian
Changes in diet over the past 50 years appear to be an important factor behind a significant rise in mental ill health in the UK, say two reports published today.
The Mental Health Foundation says scientific studies have clearly linked attention deficit disorder, depression, Alzheimer's disease and schizophrenia to junk food and the absence of essential fats, vitamins and minerals in industrialised diets.
A further report, Changing Diets, Changing Minds, is also published today by Sustain, the organisation that campaigns for better food. It warns that the NHS bill for mental illness, at almost 100bn a year, will continue to rise unless the government focuses on diet and the brain in its food, farming, education and environment policies.
"Food can have an immediate and lasting effect on mental health and behaviour because of the way it affects the structure and function of the brain," Sustain's report says. Its chairman, Tim Lang, said: "Mental health has been completely neglected by those working on food policy. If we don't address it and change the way we farm and fish, we may lose the means to prevent much diet-related ill health."
Both reports, which have been produced collaboratively, outline the growing scientific evidence linking poor diet to problems of behaviour and mood. Rates of depression have been shown to be higher in countries with low intakes of fish, for example. Lack of folic acid, omega-3 fatty acids, selenium and the amino acid tryptophan are thought to play an important role in the illness. Deficiencies of essential fats and antioxidant vitamins are also thought to be a contributory factor in schizophrenia.
A pioneering nutrition and mental health programme, thought to be the only one of its kind in Britain, was carried out at Rotherham, South Yorkshire. According to Caroline Stokes, its research nutritionist, the mental health patients she saw generally had the poorest diets she had ever come across. "They are eating lots of convenience foods, snacks, takeaways, chocolate bars, crisps. It's very common for clients to be drinking a litre or two of cola a day. They get lots of sugar but a lot of them are eating only one portion of fruit or vegetable a day, if that."
The therapy includes omega-3 fatty acids and multivitamins, with advice on cutting out junk food and replacing it with oily fish, leafy vegetables for folic acid, Brazil nuts for selenium, and food providing tryptophan.
Some patients who resist treatment with drugs accept nutritional therapy and most have reported an improvement in mood and energy. Ms Stokes said: "Within the first month there's been a significant reduction in depression. We've had letters from [the patients'] psychiatrists saying they can see a huge difference."
One sufferer who benefited from a dietary change was James McLean, who was at university when first diagnosed with bipolar disorder (manic depression). After he had been sectioned repeatedly, his father read about the role of nutrition in mental health. The pair went privately to the Brain Bio Centre, in London, where Mr McLean's nutrient levels were checked; he was allergic to gluten and yeast and was given supplements, including vitamin B and essential fatty acids.
"I'd been eating lots of intense carbohydrate foods ... because they were cheap, and very little fruit or vegetables," Mr McLean said. Now, he excludes wheat from his diet too. He added: "I have more energy and confidence, I sleep better, and I came off the anti-psychotic drugs, although I still take mood stabilising ones."
Andrew McCulloch, chief executive of the Mental Health Foundation, acknowledged that mental illness results from a complex interplay of biological, social, psychological and environmental factors, but thought diet should be an everyday component of mental health care. "It costs 1,000 a week to keep someone in a psychiatric hospital. How much does good food cost? We need mentally healthy school meals, and mentally healthy hospital foods," he said.
Best choices and worst:
Good for the brain:
Vegetables, especially leafy
Seeds and nuts
Fruit
Whole grains
Wheatgerm
Organic eggs
Organic farmed or wild fish, especially fatty fish
Bad for the brain:
Deep fried junk foods
Refined processed foods
Pesticides
Alcohol
Sugar
Tea and coffee
Some additives
Some Alternatives to Drug Therapy
The most universally accepted supplement for any mental illness (and many physical ones) is Fish Oil. There are more studies related to the use of fish oil in the treatment of bipolar disorder, unipolar depression, and schizophrenia than there are for ANY of the drugs doctors prescribe for these disorders. I recommend starting with 4 softgels a day (1 gram softgels, available inexpensively at any Sam's Club, Costco, Walmart, or KMart); if, after two weeks, you don't feel a difference, try raising it. Researchers have tested fish oil at doses as high as 21 grams a day; most tests did not exceed 11, and in most of the anecdotal evidence, 4-6 appear to be sufficient. For evidence on the effectiveness of fish oil, read The Omega-3 Connection by Andrew L. Stoll, M.D (you can read a review of the book here). Dr. Stoll is on faculty at Harvard Medical School and director of the psychopharmacology research lab at Boston's McLean Hospital.
Your doctor may not tell you about fish oil, and may even lie (as mine did) and tell you there are no alternatives to drugs. If you're lucky, they will talk to you about it, and a few might actually help you with it. Pharmaceutical companies don't hold patents on fish oil, so they can't charge you $200 or more per month like they do with their other drugs -- and make no mistake, pharmaceutical companies contribute heavily to doctors. One or two month's supply of fish oil will cost you $6.50-$8.50 at the stores I just mentioned, and all brands carried at these stores are fairly consistent and effective. (You can buy more expensive fish oil; there is no evidence that it is actually better fish oil.)
The primary components of fish oil are the long-chain Omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA. If you are bipolar or schizophrenic, you need both. If you are unipolar depressive, you may need extra DHA; you can find DHA softgels at many pharmacies.
Why are these fatty acids important? Because your brain is 60% fat, and when you were born, most of that fat was Omega-3. The modern diet does not usually replace these Omega-3 fatty acids, which only occur in fish and certain algaes and planktons. There is, for instance, absolutely no amount of Omega-3s in baby formula (news flash, in 2004 Nestle has added DHA to one of their formulas); meanwhile, it occurs naturally in mother's milk. This is at least one reason why breast-fed babies are usually found to be smarter than formula-fed. There are some studies that suggest post-partem depression is caused by the fetus having, quite literally, sucked all the EPA/DHA out of the mother, and her body continues to channel most of its EPA/DHA to her breast milk. It is therefore recommended that pregnant and lactating women take extra fish oil. (This is as opposed to most psychiatric drugs, which you shouldn't take period if you're pregnant.)
Side effects of fish oil are minimal and non-toxic unless you have a severe allergic reaction. You may get some stomach upset (commonly referred to as "fishy burps"), but this is rare. If you do get "fishy burps", you can take an amino acid, Taurine, which not only has its own benefits to your brain but also helps your body digest the lipids in fish oil (and other oils). One website recommends taking fish oil with orange juice. You can also find enterically coated fish oil, which will not dissolve in your stomach. Sam's Club had 250 coated softgels for $12.87, November 2004.
If you can't handle fish oil, there is yet another, shorter-chain, Omega-3 fatty acid, ALA. You can find this in high quantities in Flax Seed Oil (or just grind your own Flax Seed and add it to your food). Your body can convert ALA to EPA and/or DHA, but it isn't very efficient at doing so. ALA may have its own benefits, but they are not well-researched; however, there is lots of good anecdotal evidence. At the present time, the preponderance of evidence says you need EPA and/or DHA. There is also evidence that ALA may provoke hypomania. You can also find just DHA, derived from kelp or seaweed, at some health food or vitamin stores.
Additional benefits of using fish oil includes cholesterol reduction and balancing, lowering of your blood pressure, restoration of liver function, slowing of loss of kidney function, aid in joint healing, and there are studies showing the effectiveness of EPA/DHA in treating Multiple Sclerosis and other disorders. Read Dr. Stoll's book; you'll be blown away.
Here's an article published January 30, 2004 in the London Times on treating depression with Fish Oil... Let me know if the link still works. They used a synthetic EPA in this study... the kid probably needed some DHA too...
You should also be taking some extra B vitamins. If you're unipolar depressive, Niacinamide is very useful. If you're bipolar or schizophrenic, Niacin may be for you (read the bottle carefully, they often package Niacinamide in bottles labeled Niacin). Niacin tends to produce a "flush" that some people find uncomfortable; this is actually a good thing, as the Niacin is opening up your small veins and capillaries, letting in more good blood than they usually get. You can also take Niacin in another form (inositol hexanicotinate, often labeled "Flush-Free Niacin") that, according to some sources I've come across, is as effective as regular Niacin (and gets you some inositol, another B-vitamin, besides).
Vitamins B1, B2, B6, and B12 each have their advocates among naturopaths, and there are some good studies showing the benefits and for which group of patients it was studied. I take a B-50 complex plus varying amounts of Niacin and Niacinamide as needed; your needs may be different.
Anxiety and panic disorders often co-exist with these illnesses, and there is a whole other array of drugs the doctors try to prescribe for you. In most cases, you will probably find that taking a Magnesium supplement will accomplish everything these drugs promise. I take 300-900 mg of a Magnesium Complex (from Bronson Pharmaceuticals) per day. I also use a product from Pro Health called Double Strength Ultra ATP+, which supplies 125 mg of magnesium oxide and 1200 mg of malic acid in 3 tablets (I take 6 tablets daily). The malic acid is reported to be effective in getting the magnesium into your cells.
When your body gets too much Magnesium, it will react with diarrhea; this is short-lived, just cut back the dosage. I've seen recommended as much as 2 grams of Magnesium per day, but it is my opinion that this is probably too much. The benefit of a Magnesium Complex over a single-source Magnesium product is that your body may handle some sources, or a variety of sources, better than just one type. Bronson Laboratories has what I think is a good Magnesium Complex at a nice price.
I have also discovered that Dr. Nieper, who developed lithium orotate, also made other orotates, and magnesium orotate is available cheaply. I intend to try this for myself in the near future.
Doctors have been giving bipolar patients lithium carbonate since the 1950s. It is effective in many cases, but has incredible side effects -- its side effects can mimic almost any drug on the market. So while lithium carbonate is not actually a drug (it is a mineral), it is regulated as such. There is (not "can be") also long-term harm resultant from using lithium carbonate. If you take it for more than a few years you can expect to have kidney problems. Most doctors wait for the signs of kidney disease to show up, and then take you off lithium and try you on other drugs -- which instead are likely to damage your liver. This, in itself, is a good reason to explore alternatives.
In recent years, lithium orotate has been developed. In many studies that have been done, lithium orotate has been found to be as effective as lithium carbonate. The actual amount of elemental lithium your body receives from lithium orotate is trivial in comparison to lithium carbonate. It is widely considered to be non-toxic, and you can order it over the Internet without a prescription. The orotate mineral carrier is said to allow virtually all of the elemental lithium to pass your blood/brain barrier and thus be used by your brain, rather than flushing large amounts of lithium carbonate all over your body and eventually to your kidneys. I have been using lithium orotate myself with good results for about a year now.
You can find lithium orotate on the Internet costing as much as $45 for 90 pills (one month supply at normal dosage), or as little as $12.20 plus shipping for 200 pills (more than a 2-month supply) from this site or $11.90 for 120 capsules from Vitamin Research Products. In my case, I find that, for some reason, the capsules work better for me, so I spend a little more and get the VRP product.
If you are taking lithium carbonate and want to switch, reduce your dosage prior to adding lithium orotate. If you are taking a valproate derivative (e.g., Depakote), you should be able to safely take lithium orotate at the same time as the Depakote. If you're lucky enough to have a sympathetic doctor or other clinician, work with them.
In addition to Taurine, there are other amino acids which may be found useful. Tyrosine is one that comes up in discussions on occasion. So does 5HTP, a precursor to Tryptophan (which is currently not available in the U.S. due to an FDA ban). Different studies imply different amounts of these should be taken. Do your research, and make your choice.
If you have any questions, feel free to write me.
Moss Bliss
Asheville, NC
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My Journey Beyond Drugs
This page is updated information on what I've been going through since stopping my medications. I hope it is helpful to you.
(This section was written in April 2004; scroll down for more updates.)
The last several months have been very hard for me, inside my head and body, due to the change in treatment. The supplements have been keeping me stable, but my body is still in the process of repairing all the damage caused by the drugs I used to take; I've been on some psychoactive drug or other almost continuously since the age of 12, which is what I remember my age as being when they started me on Mysoline (primodone), an anti-convulsant. (If I remember the year wrong, I'm sorry.)
It has been shown that the dopamine-receptor-blocking neuroleptic drugs (which, fortunately, I have not taken until very recently, with Zyprexa) actually cause your brain to grow up to 50% MORE dopamine receptors to recover from having the dopamine being blocked. When a patient stops taking the drug, they are then up to 50% more dopamine-sensitive, and it takes a while for their brain to recover to its former (pre-drug) state. This also shatters a myth we were taught in school, that brain cells do not grow or change. However, being dopamine-sensitive, the patient is considerably more prone to have a relapse of the condition s/he was taking the drugs for.
Similar studies have not been done for SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Receptor Inhibitors), of which I've taken quite a few over a long period of time. But it will probably prove to be the same case. And they don't even KNOW what lithium and the anti-convulsants do... "treatment" is limited to suppressing the symptoms, not curing the condition.
So the past 5 months, my emotions have been pretty wild. I haven't been cycling, thanks to the fish oil, so I've been able to look at the feelings that come up and try to understand them and control them the way a "normal" human would. But it's like being a teenager again, my emotions have been blocked by the drugs for so long that there is a fairly steep relearning curve.
I know I have been encouraging everyone I can talk to about getting off the drugs. On the one hand, my current problems illustrate something else "bad" that the drugs do, and I have to recover not only from my disease but also from all the effects and side effects of the drugs. On the other hand, it might scare a few people who are on the drugs, and make them just want to adjust to the drug problems instead of taking on new issues.
I know for myself that I need to do this. I want to be the person I am SUPPOSED to be, not the person the drugs make me into. But it's not easy, and I continue thanking the people who are helping me through this, including the people of the ALT-therapies4bipolar Yahoogroup, the various other groups and chatrooms I'm in, and most of all Beth, my 3rd ex-wife, who has made herself available to me on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. Thanks are also due to my next-door neighbor, John; while he doesn't agree with me on these issues, he has continued to support me with his friendship.
All my love,
Moss
May 15, 2004
I went to my twice-monthly NAMI CARE meeting last night. After the meeting, the group leader called and expressed to me how grateful he was that I was part of the group, and how much I have inspired him to look beyond the drugs for his own treatment. That made me feel very good; I really value my long-standing friendship with him.
Since my last update (above) -- well, I've been getting calmer. I've gained a lot of self-assurance. And I've been revisiting my Recovery, Inc. training, and relearning my skills from that. My health keeps getting better, my attitude is brighter, and I'm no longer blaming my "disease" for whatever is wrong with me. Everything that has been blamed on my "disease" is being looked at as energy and time permits. I'm currently working (successfully right now) on controlling my constant finger-tapping and leg-shaking; there was always a doctor ready to give me a drug to control those, or a therapist who said I would just have to live with them as part of my "disorder" -- and now I'm taking command of it.
I'm finding myself less and less angry about the situation. When you find out you've been mistreated by someone, you get mad and storm around telling everyone. Eventually, you have to calm down, or you can't move on. I think I've gotten to that point. I've re-written most of my website, using language that better expresses my current state of mind. I used to use language that attempts grabs people's attention and shakes them. I've been so needy from my "disease" trying to prove that I'm sick, that I'm NOT sick, that I'm different, that it has taken so much of my energy just to communicate things that, today, are just not a part of me. I don't have anything to prove. I'm still working on convincing myself of that; old habits die hard but they're dying.
I'm still meditating. I may not know for a while how much this is helping me; just developing the discipline to do this is beyond my ability to reckon. I don't know if I'll get the "benefits" promised by the Samkhya system, but persevering is a benefit I have never experienced before. (You can visit my Meditation page if you're at all interested in what I'm doing.)
Responsibility is a hard thing to take when you have a diagnosis of "mental illness". Your doctors, therapists, friends, and family are quick to blame everything that is wrong with you on your "illness", and you believe it. I've been taking some psychoactive drug since the age of 12. This has perhaps had a permanent effect on me, but I'm not bowing to it anymore. I don't know how much I can or will "recover", but I'm doing it from a position of strength -- I'm the healthiest I can remember being, and I have the tools I need. I can do this.
I apologize sincerely to all my friends who couldn't "understand" me in the past. I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for any wrongs, and would like the chance to be in your lives again if you can allow that. Let me know what I would need to do, and I'll let you know if I have the energy to do it. I know it will be hard for some of you to reach out to me again. I love you for being you. I'd love to hear from you.
Love,
Moss
September 11, 2004
My friend, Chim, who was running the NAMI CARE group, has moved on in his life and left the area. I have been named, at least for the interim, as his replacement. I have held 3 meetings now, with 2 or 3 people in attendance. It is great that we can continue this project, although it disturbs me somewhat because the needs of the group have grown beyond NAMI's stated goals in many areas, including accepting the non-drug therapies or using them in addition to the drug therapies.
In addition, I started a Recovery, Inc. group. We have had about 10 meetings now. Recovery, Inc. doesn't know about us -- but they should be getting my letter soon. I don't know if we can gain "official" status, as none of us have the wherewithal to go to Chicago for training, but we are using the Recovery Method to help sustain our growth and mental health.
If any of you are in the Asheville area, please come join us at either or both of these groups.
Hugs,
Moss
November 19, 2004
I've been drug-free for over a year now. I got married on November 6 to a WONDERFUL young woman, and we're extremely happy. I think back to the way I made excuses for my "illness" and the things the drugs were doing to me and I'm very happy that I'm the way I am now.
My best friend just had his doctor prescribe 3-4 grams of fish oil for his cholesterol problem, LOL. He has been resisting that the whole year I've been telling him about what fish oil can do for him. Hope it does for him what it has for me -- he will be able to reduce and perhaps eliminate his medications as I did.
Hugs,
Moss
December 17, 2004
I neglected to mention that Recovery, Inc. has officially endorsed my Recovery group. They are going to be training me through a series of phone meetings with other leaders.
I said something somewhere about believing I had a problem with the lithium orotate. After looking at my treatment regimen, I decided it was just a temporary panic, and am continuing to take 3 lithium orotate capsules per day. Whether I was just getting old or not getting enough zinc, the problem is not evident at this time.
Oh, yeah, another impact on my mental health was that I got married to a wonderful young lady on November 6, 2004. To date it has been all for the good.
March 12, 2005
NAMI cancelled the NAMI CARE meetings without telling me; I will be on the agenda at the next Board meeting, on Tuesday, to discuss that. The space for the Recovery, Inc. group I've been running has been taken away, but I can attend the other meeting in town. Other things are happening. This has been a productive Winter, pulling in things I no longer need and extending myself into areas I need to move into. See my blog for details.
Hugs,
Moss
April 22, 2005
I told my friend Joy at the last Festival that Kayla was the best thing that ever happened to me. She argued with me, saying that getting off drugs was the best thing that happened to me, and without that I wouldn't even have Kayla. Good point. She said that I had grown so much in the past two years. Yesterday my therapist said I had changed and grown more in the 14 months he's known me than he ever thought possible. I'm going through a very stressful period right now in many ways, but I have Kayla and I have my own mind and lots of friends, much better ones than I ever had.
Hugs,
Moss
I'm still doing great. I have a new therapist at New Vistas. This past summer I received training to become a Group Leader for Recovery, Inc. and should have my own group in a few months. Kayla went back to Missouri to care for her ailing grandfather. I only had about 12 days of depression/panic/adjustment, each day less than the first. We are allowed to have emotions and feelings; I endorse myself for working myself down, not up.
I can't say this enough: If there is a Recovery, Inc. group in your area, attend the meetings. If there isn't, talk to Headquarters about starting one.
Hugs,
Moss
February 1, 2006
I forgot where I put this section. Been looking all over for it. Found it by going to The Wayback Machine. I won't mention what happened with Kayla, it's not pertinent to this section. New Vistas is jerking me around, but they are not my primary therapy any more. I am getting more work, including new websites, more work for The Kindness Campaign, and more involvement in Asheville Homeless Network. I still have boundary issues, and after being in large groups "too long" I start picking up on other peoples' anxiety and internalize it. I'm working on grounding and shielding, which works very well when I remember to do it. Also, my ex, Beth, is working on a page on balancing "gunas", the Hindu concept of the "weight" of food, and how that relates to bipolar. I've seen the early galleys, but it's still in development.
By and large, I'm doing better and better all the time. For the first time in my life, my parents like me and RESPECT me. It feels like aliens abducted my parents, and replaced them with improved models, but I know most of the change is in myself. It's so nice though that my parents see the change and welcome it.
I'll update this again the next time I remember where I put it. In the meantime, feel free to follow up with me through my Xanga blog. Many blessings on you and your journey!
Hugs,
Moss
February 5, 2006
I got a note from a young bipolar woman who found my blog when she was just about to try suicide. Instead, she subscribed to my blog and will continue reading it. Here is my response to her:
I'm glad you found my blog, and you are more than welcome to subscribe!
I have stuff on my website, http://moss.witchesgathering.com , on what I did to control my bipolar, and it does not include drugs. Drugs were the worst thing that ever happened to me, and they happened to me for almost 40 years before I found what to do to nourish myself.
After learning what supplements to take, dragging myself off the drugs, I then got involved in Recovery, Inc., which gave me ways to restructure my thinking, get rid of all the things that I use to work myself up.
And then I started improving my attitude, learning to love myself. My spirituality has carried me above what I believed I was worth.
All this started in August of 2003 (when someone introduced me to the ALT-therapies4bipolar Yahoogroup, which someone later dumped on me, LOL), I was off drugs by early November 2003, and the rest has followed since. In just over two years I have gone from miserable, marginalized and labeled to happy, loving, and having lots of good things happening to me. That was the length of MY tunnel -- may yours be shorter!
Hugs and blessings,
Moss
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This page last updated August 16, 2005, and is copyright ©2004, 2005 by Gerald L. "Moss" Bliss, D.D.
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